Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
