it wasn't lemon gatorade
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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