The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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