please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
