Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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