Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
