2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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