I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
