i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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