I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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