I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
