Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Green mimosas i think yes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
