Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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