Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize