I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
