If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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