He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize