That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dick very happy bro
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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