NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
