If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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