How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
