Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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