the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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