Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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