I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm too high and old for this...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
