Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How external is "for external use only"?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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