Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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