who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
