I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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