no, he came in my armpit
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
