Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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