Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
