Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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