Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
pray to the hookup gods
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
