every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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