I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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