dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
