I love black thongs
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We don't watch enough power rangers
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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