why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
