We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
