So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
