You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
