I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize