If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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