I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
