Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
