Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How naked do you want me to be?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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