I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they're like a gay fantastic four
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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