(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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