mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize