How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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