Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
