The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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