Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize