"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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