Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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