I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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