I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
