why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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